I once had a therapist ask me how I felt about seeing that my son’s peers were on very different trajectories than his own. Honestly, it was hard to watch. There were a lot of tears and a bit of anger. I confess to making a lot of exclamations about how how he was, “lazy,” and if he’d “only change his attitude,” everything would be better. But ADHD is complicated and as I grew to understand my son’s ADHD I grew to understand that what I felt was a sense of shame. Maybe that’s not the word you would choose. Call it what you want: shame, embarrassment, frustration, mom-guilt, but there is something about navigating the parenting of an ADHDer that comes with its own set of emotional issues and it’s important to acknowledge that fact.
Looking for more on this topic? You might find this first person essay of interest: Why I Had to Get Beyond Shame to Help My Child With ADHD